Stories R Us

 Screen-Time vs. In Real Life (IRL)

Does your tech use help or hurt your relationships?

In a technology-rich culture such as ours, relationships with family, co-workers and friends can suffer when we don’t take the time to know each other in real life (IRL) as deeply as we can.  We can easily find ourselves spending more time facing screens than spending face to face time with the people in our lives who we care about most. There's a reason for that.  The entire tech, entertainment and e-commerce industries depend on us staying online.

Time flies. Trust erodes. Screens steal. Whether movies, TV, smart phones, tablets or desktops, screens take our attention, make money for someone else and leave our neglected IRL relationships lacking joy, depth and trust.

Stories Produced For Commercial Consumption 

True, stories produced by professionals for mass audiences to make a profit are entertaining and amazing. They must be compelling in order to earn what they cost to make! There are teams of engineers who work to keep us engaged, captured and delivered to advertisers. 

Stories About Our Lives and Journeys Build Relationships 

Our own stories have an even greater value. They are part of how we know ourselves and let others in to know us, too. Storytelling is our heritage as humans. Long before we drew on cave walls or wrote with the first alphabet, we taught and learned by speaking and storytelling.

 Stories tell others who we are and what we have learned. They contain the past and the present. They are a gift to the listener and the storyteller, who remembers something important and shares it.

 Strengthen Your IRL Connections

There is a great hack for building our IRL relationships, and it is as old as humanity. It is storytelling. 

If you’re new to storytelling, here are a few guiding ideas.

1.    Start by listening. Ask family members or friends a question only they could answer, such as What was the best meal you’ve ever had? Who was your favorite teacher and why? Story themes can include thought provoking questions such as “Don’t believe everything you think”, or the tell about the time you used your wits to get out of real trouble.

2.    Listen to good stories at sites like The Moth. Notice what you like about a story,  how it starts, develops and ends. Is there a lesson learned or is a truth revealed?

3.    What kind of story do you like to listen to or tell?  What gives you a most pleasure or delight? There is no one formula to storytelling.  Just as there are many genres in literature, from comedy and romance to suspense and mystery, you get to decide what kinds of stories you prefer telling and how to tell them. 

     It Was A Dark And Stormy Night

I’ve enjoyed the best stories with family and friends in cars on long drives. The lights are dim, the road hums beneath us, we’re strapped in our seats and we are all ears. There are comfortable silences. One story prompts another person to tell their’s.  

Story Telling is Our Human Heritage

One of my most valued theorists and guides in my field of study, Communication studies pioneer, George Gerbner, connects our humanity to stories succinctly. 

“Indeed, story is the best word I can find to designate the key feature and most distinctive characteristic of human communication. More than any other, Homo Sapiens is the story-telling animal. Unlike any other, Homo Sapiens lives in a world erected, experiences, and conducted largely through many forms and modes of story-telling.”