Communication is what makes us human: More tips for thinking, writing and speaking in a world of quicksand communications

31. Look ‘em in the eye.	It may be hard to do 100% of the time and maybe not always is this advisable, but being conscious of where your gaze is can be of tremendous importance. Unconsciously, we may avoid looking at another person.  Our vision may drift to the ceiling, the floor, or to our desk or our laps. Sometimes we nearly close our lids to remember or “reach back in memory.” All these are lost chances to connect and collect information and feedback you can use instead of overlook.
32. Stand tall like a tree.	There is more to standing than meets the eye. Meeting someone or doing a presentation, we have about 2 seconds to make our first impression. Let’s make that one first impression ‘true’. Gina Cook explains the origin of the word ‘true’.
33. Sitting on the edge or how to not be a sack of potatoes.	It's easy to sit back and relax in a comfy chair or sofa, and it is perfectly fine in most informal contexts! When the setting is an interview or a meeting, keep from appearing like you're settled in at home with a bag of popcorn by sitting on the very edge of your seat. It's an old interviewing for TV trick that keeps your back straight and you looking alert, awake and at the top of your game, not at the end of your day.
34. Vocal range and volume.	Have you checked in with your diaphragm lately? Speaking before an audience begins with your gut. The reasons for this are both for courage and strength. Take a deep breath into the area below your lungs and feel your diaphragm expand. Next, breathe out and slowly push the air out from your lips. Use your diaphragm and its strong muscles to power your voice instead of your spindly voice box. You can sing the entire score to "Tommy" or "La Traviata" by using the power of your tummy, not your vocal chords alone.
35. Listen and learn.	Use your smartphone recorder to record yourself reciting a favorite passage from a poem or novel. Try it normal speed, then repeat in fast mode and then slow mode. Listen back and try to not criticize but notice which words were "lost" or "swallowed" in your poem or passage. What else did you notice? Try doing a recording with an intentional smile. Listen back and see what differences you noticed in your recording. If you were a complete stranger, what would your impressions be?
36. You're only speaking to one of us at a time anyway.	When I was a young radio announcer, George Cooper, the radio legend, was program director at our station. He took me aside and gave me some advice about reading the news. He complimented me on my writing and voice, then he asked me to try something new. It changed my life. He asked me to try my next newscast by keeping the idea of someone I know and like a lot, such as a beloved nephew or niece in my mind's eye while I read the news on the air live. The idea of telling the news to one person, who I cared for, instead of an amorphous many who I didn't know, transformed my announcing. My newscast took on another tone, something warm and packed with meaning. I have made a lot of money voicing commercials and videos by using this one-to-one approach.
37. Performance anxiety and why you want at least some of it.	Whether you are in the NFL or a poet at a small venue about to step up to the microphone, the butterflies in your tummy are a signal that is healthy and normal. Your heightened, tense and even anxious feelings are preparing you to bring your all to the job ahead. Breathe deep to relax just before you step out in front of the crowd.  When you begin you'll be at your best, from the soles of your feet to the top of your head.
38. Bring the whole family along.  39. Tell your story. 40. You don't have to agree with everyone's ideas, but it is always good to know where they come from.	If there is an important meeting or presentation you are preparing for, don't forget to bring along the family tree, and even those whose names are forgotten. There are generations of hard working, survivor-types in our DNA. They didn't fight so hard to see us quake in the knees without them by our side. They are a posse of supporters who stand beside us in spirit wishing us well. Walk in the doors or through the curtain with them by your side. We each have a story to tell, or a trillion. If you want to share yours, find a friend and listen to their stories. Ask questions that get people talking about things that matter. I've had several informal dinners where my guests tell stories based on the prompt, "Don't believe everything you think" and the results have been pretty entertaining and enlightening. When differing political beliefs arise, notice if you are feeling tense or angry and breathe deep. Then with a gentle tone, ask, "Tell me how you came to this position or idea, I'm interested." What you learn may surprise you.

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