Reading Anne Lamott's work is like reading an X-ray of the human soul. One whose owner has been less than perfect, and in-fact, often taken the easy road, not the one less travelled. Like many of us.
Her latest novel, Imperfect Birds is a life lesson in respecting and appreciating the hard, slogging, often endless and hopeless seeming job of becoming an adult. Even one who is among the lucky ones to be born into a family committed to "keeping it real".
Lamott is a recovering alcoholic, like a good friend of mine. Lamott writes well about the scary terrain of addiction, depression, growing up, parenting and the steep climbs and tricky descents of the terrain, which for many of us is the terrain of our times. It's the age of availability, with the added kick of a 50 billion dollar a year advertising (US alone) industry to keep us on target with regular and heavy consumption. There is cheap or freely available alcohol, pharmaceuticals, weed, speed, cocaine, meth, heroin, "what-ev" as Rosie, the teenager in the novel loves to say. Freely available at home, at school, at the freaking village green, mall, local hang-outs, on Facebook, etc.
The age of availability is a product of supply and demand. What drives demand is often supply, as much as what drives supply is demand. Like a snake devouring its own tail, we have before us a candy store of drugs, including candy and fruity-sounding names for alcohol and other drugs to choose from, thanks to the hard work of the beer, wine, alcohol and drug traffickers international brotherhood. (Who since 2000 have murdered into silence 60 journalists in Mexico alone. Knowledge vs. Consumption-Profits).
In the age of availability one can flip the switch and life is a fuzzy, feel-good buzzy place to occupy our time, space, mind and soul--a respite from the troubles, pressures and demands of being awake, fully alive. Meeting our demands, responsibilities, reaching the dreams we have had since children.
"It's OK. Really, I have it under control" is the mantra we repeat as time goes by. The lies to the self increase day by day, night by night, seasons pass, semesters fly by, all the while "It's OK, really, it's under control" wears thinner and thinner til it rips.
My friend, who I mentioned above, felt the mantra rip apart at the age of 35. She only drank on weekends, but when she started she never stopped. She decided to sober up after drinking like that since she was a teenager. At 35, she looked even older, but she only had the emotional brain (self confidence, maturity, self awareness) of a girl close to 12. Today she spends several hours each week at AA meetings and recently celebrated 10 years of sobriety, emerging as a successful businesswoman and delightful person all around. My friend doesn't spend time looking back at the lost years. She doesn't have time to do that. She only looks forward, but that doesn't make those lost years less lost.
The age of availability-- of highs available at every corner, at every stage of the day, morning coffee, sugars, consumption of clothes and products as a way to feel good, alcohol, recreational drugs makes it important to "do the math". Growing up healthy and with most of ones' marbles intact means being able to "be there" for yourself and someone else, maybe a lover or a child someday. It means putting in the time my friend lost all those years being high. Do the math: if one doesn't get the life lessons in an on-purpose, wide-awake state, they are only postponed, not cancelled or avoided. And looking 35-plus externally, while one is emotionally only a teen is a tough price to pay for being high.
The industries want us to choose their products (addictive substances from Hersheys to Hennessy to heroin) now, and to continue using them as often as possible. To jack up their profits this month. Period. That's what their math is.
The math of the human heart is much more. We have a soul, spirit, something inside that cries out for the high because it remembers something deep inside of us that is peaceful, calm, blissful. This is our human heritage, to feel free of stress, tension and worry.
We can find the bliss, all the wisdom of the world tells us, through our actions. Doing good, helping others, working with passion and curiosity at something that gives us pride and joy: gardening for my friend who is wildly successful in being the landscaper to the stars in San Antonio; building homes for my friend the former alcoholic, who woke up at 35; making thought-provoking and achingly beautiful art as my friend, the fiber artist; being a realized yoga instructor for my friend from childhood; teaching developmental math in the country's best program for my friend who works at the college where I teach communications. Some examples from my limited experience.
Bliss. Available. Free of charge. Available in the age of availability. Its path is not advertised, or part of the bottom line for profit-making industries. It's there for us to find inside us, in our own way, every day doing the math, making corrections along the way, doing the daily calculations.
