Communication is what makes us human: Tips for thinking, writing and speaking in a world of quicksand conversations

1. Find out how you do your best thinking and when you are able, give yourself the best environment possible.	Do you need music or quiet? Do you need to list questions or look at pro’s and con’s instead? Do you need another person to explore a question with or are you better off alone or working with Google or Wikipedia?
2. Communication is intention.	Know the reason for your communication because your audience will be asking about this first. Whether you speak in person, on the phone, in a text or email, there is an important “channel” that tells your audience as much as your words or voice. We are all tuned in to listen for this channel to determine what your intentions are: To inquire or to demand? To explore or to stake your territory?
3. Words matter. Think before you speak.	Encourage the habit of listening with intention and pausing to let a thought percolate and be understood. Let there be silence and space between exchanges, especially passionate or heated ones.
4. Questions are your friends.	It’s too easy to misinterpret and misunderstand because there are so many emotions and distractions during most conversations. And that’s just on our end! Add to that what is in the minds and experiences of your audience. Ask questions for clarification.
5. At the end of an interview or any weighted conversation, ask “Is there anything you would like to add that we haven’t talked about yet?”	My documentary about San Antonio during WWII began with a quote from an African American D-day veteran who I interviewed for half an hour with almost no usable quotes until I asked this question. It was the best sound-bite of the entire program.
6. In life, as in print or electronic communication, editing is not only allowed, it is encouraged and nearly always improves on the original.	It is very rare that you can never change something that you’ve said or written, even if it is a whopper. You’re allowed to make mistakes as long as you do your best to correct them. You’re not allowed to make mistakes and knowingly ignore them.
7. Talking to babies and children builds their trust in their own curiosity and interest in learning.	Kids don't learn about their world from screens, but from their people. Here’s where it starts for humans. Listening and responding is an equally important form of affection and protection kids require to grow into their own sense of wonder and possibilities.
8. It’s OK to say, “I don’t know” or “I’ll let you know when I find out.”	It is better to admit the truth than to ruin all trust in a communication with a tidal wave of excuses or conjectures that the listener usually perceives as false and distracting.
9.  Public speaking is like practicing hitting a softball.	The more you step up to the mound with a bat in hand, the harder your hands’ callouses become and the better your chances are for hitting the ball. You’ll lose most of the discomfort with time, yet you’ll probably always want some ‘performance anxiety’ to keep your presentations in the moment and interesting.
10. Cultivate your inner voice. 11. Communication provides education. (Wes Anderson)	Keep a journal, write a blog, create a podcast on a passion you have. The more you listen and work with your ideas and words, the easier communication becomes. You learn ways to begin, to end with a tying back to the beginning, to edit, to add interest with questions or quotes, and other “tricks” to help give your voice a platform to be read or heard by others. The more we learn about others, especially those considered to be enemies, the better we can see their points of view or how they were raised. With technology today, we have learned about people from the other side of the world. We learn that people from every country are humans with beliefs taught to them. Governments start wars. People generally want to understand others and change their points of view. We do this through effective communication.

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